


未来側(mirai yawa)

by RedHoodedKid



Series: More than Two [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game), ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Karin, Autistic Setsuna, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Setsuna uses She/they pronouns, actually beta read for once, i think um setsuna starts to hit herself, this fic is gonna hurt a lot im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHoodedKid/pseuds/RedHoodedKid
Summary: Setsuna has been having a lot of lapses in memory lately and hearing voices in her head that she can have conversations with no one is around...she doesn't know why and it scares her. She isn't sure when they started but maybe she's just overworking herself? Surely it has to be that? Their girlfriend isn't so sure if that's what is going on. Can Emma and Karin help Setsuna figure out what is wrong?How do you navigate the world with a broken sense of self and no access to the help you need?(Author has DID/OSDD and is a host of a system.)
Relationships: Asaka Karin/Yuuki Setsuna
Series: More than Two [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037328
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	未来側(mirai yawa)

**Author's Note:**

> ooooh I've been so excited to get this written and posted. Shu and I have been working on this for about a month now?? It's been so exciting to talk plot with her.  
> So how this is gonna work is that Shu and I are working with the same plot but we wanted to write it our own ways instead of just one fic. So there are going to be differences but we're really enjoying working together!  
> Hope you enjoy this even tho the subject matter is...not exactly happy.  
> Also thanks to Scarlett(Scarlett-holly) for beta reading this, it made it soo much better imo.

It was almost time for practice and no one in the club had seen any sign of Setsuna all day. That was odd. Karin had not gotten anything from her girlfriend besides a good morning text; which was also odd. Typically Setsuna would’ve sent her something during lunch, typically about _Pretty Cure_ or joined her and Emma for lunch.   
Karin, already in her practice clothes, stood up from her spot on the couch and headed towards the door of the club room. Something was wrong and Karin Asaka was gonna find out. She said something about looking for Setsuna before hurrying out of the door, trying to not let anxiety overtake her. Setsuna was typically the first one in the clubroom unless student council work kept her. 

Karin had walked between the clubroom and the student council room enough times she was able to memorize the way there. When she got to the door, she opened the door a little bit, calling out her girlfriend’s name. No response. Had she fallen asleep? Yu mentioned finding Setsuna in Nana mode asleep in the student council room once. Karin opened up the door the rest of the way and could not believe what she found inside. 

Papers,books, binders, even office supplies had been thrown everywhere. It was chaos. In the middle sat Setsuna on the floor, sobbing with a pen slack her hand. Karin rushed over to Setsuna, panicking slightly.

“Setsuna, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” she asked, on her knees next to her girlfriend. Setsuna looked up at Karin, eyes puffy and tears running down her face. “I don’t remember how I got here. I can’t remember anything after brushing my teeth in the bathroom until I got here. Even then, I was writing when I came back or whatever. The room was already like this too. My head hurts so much, like it’s too full and empty at the same time. Someone would’ve told me if I fell and got a concussion, right? Maybe I should go home and not go to prac-” she was rambling when she suddenly stopped and looked utterly terrified _.  _ “Shut up! What do you mean home isn’t safe?” she half-yelled at the voice,starting to cry again and hit her forehead really hard in what seemed like frustration mixed with fear.

Karin grabbed her girlfriend’s hands and immediately hugged her tight, hoping to stop Setsuna from hitting herself. Setuna started sobbing into Karin’s shirt. They stayed like this for a little while. No words exchanged between the two; just letting Setsuna guide this. They could worry about the rest of the club's reaction later. Karin was not sure how long they sat there like this but the smaller girl finally seemed to calm down a little. They looked at each other and Karin felt like her heart would break. 

“What was that about ‘home isn’t safe’ ? Setsuna, are you ok?” Karin asked. 

Setuna broke eye contact, tensing up. “I don’t know? I keep hearing this voice in my head. It tells me things, and I can like... respond back. It talks to me, Karin. Am I losing my mind? May-maybe I need help? I can’t- I can’t get help though. My-My parents would never allow it.” She started to stutter and ramble again; tears welling up. Karin grabbed Setsuna’s face and tried to wipe away the tears.  
“Let’s slow down,ok? You’ve been working very hard; both in the student council and idol club. Stress and _lack of sleep_ can cause a whole bunch of issues. That includes hearing voice and memory loss.” She tried to explain while Setsuna’s brows furrowed.   
“I’m not good at hiding my bad sleep habits, huh? Maybe you’re right, Karin.” she sighed, leaning into Karin’s front with her arms just hanging out by her side.

Karin couldn’t get Setsuna’s outburst about home out of her head. She didn’t know much about Setsuna’s home life besides Setsuna’s parents not letting her openly enjoy her favorite things or be an idol but maybe this voice, whatever it is, knew something not even Sestuna themselves knew. Maybe something more sinister besides just strict parenting was going at home and could be part of the reason for Setsuna’s memory loss. Karin hummed before speaking.    
“How about for today; You come to Emma and I’s dorm to take a nap? I can text the club and tell them you aren’t making it today.” Setsuna looked up and seemed to wanna argue with Karin about how they would be fine at home but Karin seemed oddly firm in this so they just nodded and grabbed Karin’s hand. The pair finally stood from their place on the floor, not letting go of each other’s hands before leaving the student council room and heading to Karin’s room.

-~-~-~-~-~

Setsuna had finally fallen asleep in Karin’s bed and Karin sat on the couch in the small common room her and Emma shared. She had been able to send a text to a text to the club while Setsuna reluctantly borrowed some of Karin’s softer clothes to nap in. The rest of the club decided to call off practice for the day and voiced concerns about Setsuna. Karin told them not to worry and that Setsuna was just sleep deprived; which Karin wondered if that was completely true. She had also sent a text to Emma about the student council room, asking if she could please see about cleaning it up  _ alone _ . 

She knew that would tip off the swiss girl that something more was going on but Karin felt like she could trust Emma with this. She didn’t really know what  _ this _ was if she was honest. She thought about how different Nana and Setsuna were, even though they were two sides of the same coin so to speak. If you didn’t know the truth behind the double life, you would easily think they were two completely...different people. 

Karin unlocked her phone with determination and went to her search engine. She was not sure if what she was about to type in actually existed but it couldn’t hurt to try, especially if it could help Setsuna.

_ “多重人格障害”(Multiple Personalities Disorder) _

The term didn’t bring up much in Japanese. Most results were in English but eventually she came across an article talking about a movie she had never heard of before.  _ 分割する(Spilt). _ It seemed to be a horror movie. What she could gather from the article was a disorder where someone who has more than one personality exists and includes memory loss. It sounded somewhat like what Setsuna was dealing with. However, the way the author describes the movie... she had to agree with them that it seemed extremely wrong. 

Setsuna got upset at seemingly small things. The student council room being in disarray the way she found it and Setsuna starting to hit herself was the closest she had ever seen her girlfriend be violent and it was towards herself;that broke Karin’s heart. She knows Setsuna is also autistic but Karin has never seen her to be kind to hit themselves before. Setsuna was more the type to flap their arms so much they accidentally hit themselves. However, There were 3 words that stuck out to Karin in the comments of this article.   
_“Dissociative Identity Disorder”_

Karin honestly had no idea how to say that first word but she tried typing it into her search bar in English. She was struggling with this and started growling at her phone; she was in her own world and did not notice her fellow 3rd year walk up behind her.

“Huh? Is there a reason you’re looking up D.I.D, Karin? Do you need to talk about something?” Emma asked, causing Karin to jump a bit and look towards her. 

“I-I-I... It’s not for me! Umm…” Karin trailed off, looking towards her dorm room door. Karin was not sure how much she should tell Emma about the scene she found. It wasn’t exactly her place to explain. Out of the corner of her eye, Karin noticed Emma gave an understanding nod before moving around the couch to sit next to Karin. 

“It’s about Setsuna, isn’t it? That mess seemed very out of place. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about proper and strict student council president Nana Nakagawa or energetic and a bit chaotic school idol Setsuna Yuki.” Emma elaborated, with the same kind of look on her face as when she talked about her siblings.   
“Y-yeah, it’s about Setsuna. Who, by the way, is still asleep in my bed.” Karin stated. Emma smiled.

“Did I ever tell you about one of my childhood friends? Well, one might not be the best expression here.”


End file.
